Scrabble: The Facebook app that stole my youth

I've just discovered Scrabble on Facebook. It is marvellous. Literally tens of thousands of illiterate yankie doodles just waiting to play any minute of any day.

Currently playing with Catherine. 30-40s. English looking. Red lipstick. Red frock. If I didn't know better (and trust me I don't) I'd say she has clicked through completely by chance from a banner ad on Match.com. Whacks of desperation. Anyway, she seems nice, if not a tad slow with picking her letters. She also stuck an 'R' onto my 'DRAPE' to make 'DRAPER'. It was lazy and since then I can't forgive her. And frankly, I don't think I'll ever forgive that fringe.

Oh...FADE. 9 points. A bit like my interest Catherine.

Is TUSING a word? No. Apparently not. Mind you, I've already come up with such non-words as WUDS and FLIM. I promise myself I'll look them up in the Oxford English. Alas, Scrabble Dictionary is the ruthless Machiavelli of the Dictionary world. It doesn't give you the meaning, just whether of not you can score points with the word. Somewhere, Shakespeare is spinning like a black and decker.

I've now decided that Catherine is definitely single. If you want to emphasise the point, and I do, then her words have a smutty undertone that someone of my low brow taste picks up on very quickly. "JUICE"... "HOWL"..."YEAST"? Christ Catherine, you'll never find a man on Facebook Scrabble with words like "YEAST".