Fine Gael announce 'Porn Tax'

Fine Gael have launched plans for a new 'Porn Tax'. The proposals were announced by FG leader Enda Kenny today as part of their 'Get Ireland Wanking" manifesto. The tax on porn usage would replace the TV License. "Since Kathryn Thomas left No Frontiers people have moved to the net for their porn needs", said Mr. Kenny.

The new proposals would protect premature ejaculators as the "content charge" would be based on how much a person downloads to their laptop or mobile device. "Those who take longer to cum, will pay the most", promised Mr. Kenny to a positive response from Dr. Leo Varadkar. Depending on how enabling legislation is designed, the tax could also apply to smartphones,
e-readers such as the Kindle, and to iPad and other masturbation aids.

As the General Election approaches it's climax it seems Fine Gael are determined not be seen as just a pack of wankers.